A Beacon Amid Darkness: Honoring the Bibas Family and Our Shared Hope

The tragic loss of the Bibas Family has shaken our community to its core. In the wake of this unbearable news, we find ourselves grappling with profound sorrow, anger, and disbelief. Though the Bibas Family was not the sole victim of this senseless violence, their lives came to represent a beacon of hope—a promise of a future filled with potential and light for Jews worldwide. Their memory challenges us to find strength amid despair and to honor every precious life lost.

As we navigate this collective grief, it is essential to recognize that while the pain feels overwhelming, we do not have to face it alone. One of the most vital steps in coping with such deep loss is seeking connection—whether through community support, trusted friends, or professional guidance. Practical therapy advice can serve as a roadmap to help us manage our emotions during these dark times. Consider dedicating a few moments each day to mindful breathing or meditation; these practices can provide a small sanctuary of calm amidst the turmoil. It may also be beneficial to keep a journal where you can safely express your emotions and memories, helping you process the complexity of your feelings.

Another important aspect of healing is allowing yourself to grieve in a way that is both personal and communal. While it can be tempting to isolate yourself when the pain is too heavy, engaging in conversations with those who share your loss can create an invaluable support network. Group therapy sessions or community support groups offer a space where you can speak openly about your grief, hear the stories of others, and realize that your sorrow is part of a larger tapestry of shared experience. Sometimes, even simple acts like taking a walk in nature or practicing gentle self-care—such as a warm bath or a quiet moment with a loved one—can provide moments of relief and reflection.

The rituals that have always sustained us—whether they be the sacred lighting of candles on Shabbat or the poignant recitation of prayers—continue to hold power in our healing journey. These time-honored practices not only honor the memory of the Bibas Family but also offer a structured path toward rebuilding hope. In the soft glow of a candle, we find a reminder that light can emerge even in the deepest darkness, and in our shared rituals, we rediscover the bonds that unite us.

In the aftermath of such a heartbreaking loss, it is natural to feel lost and overwhelmed. Yet, within our grief lies the potential for a renewed commitment to care, compassion, and resilience. By embracing practical therapy advice and coming together as a community, we honor the legacy of the Bibas Family and all the fallen hostages and soldiers and we transform our sorrow into a collective strength that lights the way forward.

Here are a few practical tips for coping with grief:

1. Allow Yourself to Feel

• Grief is a natural process—permit yourself to experience emotions without judgment.

2. Name Your Feelings

• Acknowledge specific emotions (e.g., sadness, anger, guilt) instead of suppressing them.

3. Maintain a Routine

• Structure can provide a sense of stability when everything feels overwhelming.

4. Take Care of Your Body

• Stay hydrated, eat nourishing foods, and get rest, even if sleep feels difficult.

5. Move Your Body

• Gentle movement (walking, stretching, yoga) can help release stored emotions.

6. Connect with Supportive People

• Lean on friends, family, support groups, or a therapist for comfort.

7. Express Your Grief

• Journaling, art, music, or prayer can help process emotions.

8. Unplug When Needed

• Social media and news can be overwhelming—take breaks when needed.

9. Create Rituals of Remembrance

• Light a candle, plant a tree, or create a scrapbook to honor your loved one.

10. Talk to Someone Who Understands

• Finding a therapist or grief counselor can provide guidance and a safe space to share.

11. Allow for Unexpected Waves of Grief

• Grief is not linear—emotions may come in waves. Give yourself grace.

12. Find Moments of Joy Without Guilt

• Laughing, engaging in hobbies, or enjoying life does not mean forgetting.

13. Set Boundaries

• Limit time with people who minimize your grief or push you to "move on" too soon.

14. Write a Letter

• Write to your loved one about what you wish you could say or share.

15. Give Yourself Permission to Rest

• Grief is exhausting; take breaks and rest when needed.

16. Seek Spiritual or Religious Comfort (if meaningful to you)

• Prayer, meditation, or engaging in religious traditions may offer solace.

17. Be Kind to Yourself

• Avoid self-judgment—there’s no "right way" to grieve.

18. Set Small, Achievable Goals

• Start with simple tasks—grief can make even daily activities feel difficult.

19. Find a Purpose in Their Memory

• Volunteer, donate, or support causes that honor their legacy.

20. Know That Healing Takes Time

• Grief doesn’t have an expiration date—take one moment at a time.

Jewish Ideas for Coping with Grief

🕯 Follow Jewish Mourning Practices

• Judaism offers structured mourning periods—Shiva (the first 7 days), Shloshim (the first 30 days), and the first year for a parent. These structured times provide space for grief while also gradually guiding a mourner back to life.

📖 Say Kaddish and Honor Their Memory

• The Mourner’s Kaddish is recited to honor the soul of the departed. Many find comfort in the rhythm of saying Kaddish and the connection to Jewish tradition. Some also take on learning Torah or performing mitzvot in the person’s merit.

💡 Zechut (Merit) Through Acts of Kindness

• Judaism teaches that the actions we do in memory of a loved one elevate their soul. Consider giving tzedakah (charity), dedicating a mitzvah, or studying in their honor.

🌳 Mark Yahrzeit and Other Memorials

• Lighting a Yahrzeit candle on the anniversary of their passing, visiting their resting place before the High Holidays, or participating in a Yizkor service can create meaningful touchpoints to remember them.

If the duration and intensity of your grief are making it difficult to carry out daily responsibilities—such as work, relationships, or self-care—it may be helpful to reach out to a therapist. Seeking support is not a sign of weakness but an act of strength; grief is complex, and professional guidance can provide tools to help you navigate it with greater ease and compassion.