Suddenly the Therapy Room Doesn't Feel as Safe

On October 7th, the entire Jewish world woke up to a different reality. The world became darker, and our hearts felt heavy. As we were struggling to recover from the shock and the grief of a brutal and savage attack, we discovered the frightening reality that the world suddenly felt a little less safe for those who are Jewish, pro-Israel, or Zionist.  It is a heavy reality that is unfolding all around us, and, in fact, hard not to talk about.

Stacy Shapiro and I have been humbled to be part of a project that has been able to provide training to over 1000 therapists around the world on the topic of treating this global and active trauma. But, in truth, we are also overwhelmed. Many people have reached out to us, and the other therapists involved, with a scary and shocking theme: they no longer feel, or are starting to doubt if they can feel safe in the therapy room. And this applies to both clients and therapists alike. 

As therapists, we have always based our actions on the guarantee that the therapy room is a place of safety. But what happens when it's not? What happens when both therapists and clients are facing the same trauma? How can we help our clients deal with their pain while we deal with ours?

But the struggle is not limited to shared pain. Many therapists and clients are now worried about identification. Clients want to know if they could or should inquire about a therapist's religious or political beliefs, specifically their stance on issues like Zionism. As we know, the right therapist is critical in the journey toward healing and self-discovery. And while we don’t say the same is true in reverse, how do we, as therapists, deal with anti-semitism directed at us - both blatant and subtle?

It is important to note the primary concerns that we have heard from a large number of therapy clients. They range from a sense of dismissal toward the struggle against anti-Semitism, a denial of the Jewish people as a unique minority, the untoward initiation of political conversation, and, most significantly, a feeling of abandonment by the same person who was once their rock in dealing with so many other complicated issues. At the same time, therapists have lost clients or have been placed in uncomfortable conversations that counter their own important sense of self.

It is devastating to see therapist spaces becoming unsafe for some people, but we must be there to help. The Kesher Shalom Workshop was designed to provide both support for therapists who feel unsafe in the current climate and assistance to therapists in helping their clients, both old and new, during these turbulent times. 

While we don’t have all the answers, we believe it is important to have a space to dialogue about how to create safety for our clients.  We believe that giving extra clinical supervision and consultation on issues surrounding countertransference is more crucial than ever before.  For more information, you can email admin@keshershalom.com or shalomworkshops@gmail.com