Understanding Gaslighting
Gaslighting is the psychological equivalent of someone stealing your wallet and then helping you look for it. It’s manipulative, disorienting, and, let’s be honest, infuriating. At its core, gaslighting is about messing with someone’s reality until they don’t know up from down and start questioning whether they’re the problem (spoiler alert: they’re not). This underhanded tactic doesn’t just sow doubt; it triggers trauma responses that can wreak havoc on someone’s mental health.
When someone gaslights you, it’s like your brain goes into survival mode. “Wait, am I crazy?” is not a fun question to ask yourself, but that’s precisely what the gaslighter wants. Your nervous system, always ready to protect you, starts lighting up like a Menorah… Fight, flight, or freeze? How about all three in a panicked loop while you’re trying to figure out why your perfectly valid feelings are suddenly being treated like conspiracy theories? Over time, repeated gaslighting can leave you emotionally fried, perpetually doubting yourself, and wondering why you’re apologizing to someone who’s clearly in the wrong.
Gaslighting doesn’t just hurt your feelings; it’s an all-out assault on your identity. Being told that your experiences and perceptions aren’t real impairs your sense of self. It’s like someone setting your emotional GPS to reroute constantly: “You’re not headed where you think you are, and by the way, the map is fake.” Over time, this erodes self-esteem, creates anxiety, and leaves you emotionally stranded. And the kicker? You start believing that maybe the gaslighter is right because surely no one would go to such lengths to lie. (Spoiler alert: yes, they would, and they do.)
Now, let’s zoom out and look at this through the lens of antisemitism because gaslighting on a societal scale is its own unique brand of awful. Antisemitic gaslighting doesn’t just deny someone’s experiences; it’s about erasing their entire identity. Picture this: someone tells you that antisemitism isn’t a real problem, that your concerns are overblown, or worse, that you’re the aggressor in a narrative designed to victimize you. That’s not just gaslighting; that’s a psychological mic drop aimed at silencing you completely.
The erasure aspect is what makes antisemitic gaslighting so insidious. It’s not just about denying history or downplaying present-day hate; it’s about making Jewish individuals and communities feel invisible. When the world insists that your struggles aren’t real, it’s more than invalidation—it’s an attempt to rewrite the script entirely, with you edited out. This isn’t just exhausting; it’s traumatizing. The solution? Calling it out loudly and often. Because no matter how much someone tries to gaslight you, the truth is still the truth. And if they can’t handle it? Well, that sounds like their problem, not yours.